the one about michael jackson

like most of the world, i loved michael jackson. his music was the soundtrack to my child. my older sister got me hooked and i never let go. michael jackson's bad world tour in 1988 was my very first concert. i was six years old and it was amazing. sadly, michael was also a seriously troubled man and i'm happy that he's finally at peace. he changed the music world forever. not to mention what he did for race relations. many people forget that back when he started producing his music videos, mtv only showed rock videos. they initially were not interested in mj's videos. ha, that soon changed. michael jackson was an amazing artist and i'm thankful that i can say that i saw him live. i'm confident that his music will continue to live on.

in no particular order, here are some of my favorite mj songs:

• dirty diana -- that line where he sings "she said he's not coming back because he's sleeping with me" was ridiculous. even at a young age, i knew that this diana lady was up to no good.
• pyt -- i will forever and always love pyt. such a classic
• man in the mirror
• billie jean -- again, just like with dirty diana, i knew that mj had ran across some sketchy ladies.
• don't stop til you get enough -- just the intro music to this song is enough to make me run out to the dance floor.
• beat it -- the dancing!!
• smooth criminal -- that video was so freakin' sick. absolutely incredible.
• off the wall -- LOVE it
• and of course, wanna be startin' something!

the one about what i want/need

i think that a lot of people are sort of vague about what they want, or more importantly, what they need in relationships. i know that i've been guilty of that in the past. but the wonderful thing is that with each passing relationship, i've become more and more clear about who i am, what i want and what i need. so at this point, i have a pretty good idea.

what i need:

• a man who has a college education. call it snobby, call it judgmental, call it what you want. i've dated a man who did not go to college and there were problems. the fact that he didn't go to college didn't really bother me, but he was always throwing my education back in my face. like in a fight, he'd say things like "well, i didn't go to [insert name of my college/law school] and so i must be an idiot." dealing with his inferiority complex got old REAL quick
• a man with an opinion. if you know me, you know i am quite opinionated. i like trading ideas and hearing what others think. if a man's standard response to questions is "i don't know", then it ain't gonna work.
• a man who is confident. i have a strong personality and i need someone who is not afraid to call me out on my shit. i am aware that this is what i need. if i intimidate you, then it won't ever work. if you aren't confident, then i will run all over your ass. it sounds terrible, but, hey, at least i acknowledge it :)
• a considerate man. of course, like most outgoing people, i still have insecurities and want to be appreciated. i can't handle rudeness. i got over dating "bad boys" in high school.
• a man who likes dogs. or at the very least likes my dog. sasha fierce is a huge part of my life and if you can't get down with that, it won't work. sasha fierce is awesome and if you don't appreciate that, we won't get along.
• a man who has his life together. shit doesn't have to be perfect, but i'm not interested in hanging around while you "find yourself".
• i need a man who loves food as much as i do. need i say more?
• my friends are a big part of my life and i want my man to love that and to love my friends.
• that being said, i want to know your friends, too. i want to be a part of your life if we are going to be together.
• i need someone who is willing to make time for me. i require attention. i am going to want to talk to you everyday if we are in a relationship. i'm going to want to hang out with you a couple times a week if we're in a relationship. if we never see each other and we never talk, then why am i dating you exclusively? i don't think i'm crazy about this and am usually pretty laid back about it. suffice to say that if consistently text me on thursdays asking to kick it at 10pm on a friday night, we won't work out. does that make sense?

anyway, that's the basics. obviously, a lot of things go into compatibility -- these are just a few things that are important to me.

the one about food

as you all know, i love food. i enjoy eating, and sharing a meal with friends and family is one of my greatest pleasures. lately i've been thinking a lot about food. specifically, i've been thinking about how disconnected we are from the food we purchase and eat every day. i wonder if it's possible for me to bridge this gap. i would love to eat only organic, locally sourced food. is this possible? my dad and i grow our own herbs in the backyard, which is a great start. but in thinking over my daily routine (making a lunch to take the office, eating dinner, snacks) i have difficulty seeing how i could possibly only purchase organic or locally produced items and be able to afford it. what i think would be awesome is if dc had a daily farmers market. similar to the the dekalb farmers market in decatur, about a mile from the agnes scott campus. the dekalb farmers market is amazing. it's open 7 days a week, and it's a place where you know you can go and buy local, organic produce, meat, seafood, etc. and it's very reasonably priced. i could afford it as a college student. there is nothing similar in the dc area that i know of. so since i don't live in atlanta and absolutely can not afford whole foods on a weekly basis (although i really wish i could -- that place is like crack; so addictive), what can i do? i do visit farmers markets around the area, but wish there was a daily option. oh, i guess there is eastern market. i've never visited during the week, so i'm not sure about their meat and produce options. has anyone ever visited eastern market during the week? perhaps i'll go this week and check it out and see if it matches my deakalb farmers market...

the one about my new dating rules

i've decided that from now on out i'm only dating pre-screened men. the thought behind this is that my friends know me pretty well. they know what i'm apt to like/dislike/find attractive/put up with/etc. particularly my long term friends. if one of these friends recommends a guy, then i can safely assume that he's at least personable, decent looking, doing something with his life and reasonably intelligent.

so, i guess the next question is, what if i meet an awesome guy while out at a restaurant/bar/etc? will i give him a chance? sure. but in general, unless the man comes stamped with a "quality" sticker, i'm probably not going to waste my time. i'm not that pressed to be with someone -- i actually enjoy spending time alone, with my puppy and with my family and friends. this little stretch of time post the Banker is the longest i've been single since law school. and i have to say it hasn't been bad at all. i've kind of enjoyed it. occasionally i'd like to have a guy to take to various events, etc. but overall, no complaints :)

the one where i wish i could say something...

the ex is getting married in august. i've known this for over a year and when i first heard he was engaged, i was honestly thrilled for him. okay, maybe thrilled is a bit strong, but i was genuinely happy for him. well, that was back in 2008. now it's 2 months before the wedding and i don't like it. for many reasons:

1. i do not think he is ready to marry this woman. i saw the ex when i was in atlanta for my college reunion and he did not appear in the least like a man who was excited to be getting married in a few months. he told BFF and i how he and his fiance haven't had relations in forever. i mean, really?! first, the fact that he told us is a big sign. why on earth would you share that information with your ex girlfriend and her best friend?? second, why the heck aren't they behaving like rabbits?? from what i've heard, the sex is supposed to go AFTER you are married, not before. i know from experience with the ex that no loving = NOT a happy relationship.
2. going along with number 1, the ex sent a few inappropriate texts that weekend while i was in atlanta. nothing crazy, just things that i know his fiance would not appreciate. 
3. of course, an obvious reason i don't like it is just because. the ex and i went through hell and back together and though i know its over and have moved on, it is incredibly strange that he is marrying someone else.

the other piece of this puzzle is that the ex's fiance absolutely hates me and everything i stand for. we've never met but she despises me. and i get that. however, it means that when the ex and i meet up for lunch or whatnot, he's sneaking around to do it. after what happened in atlanta, i decided that i was not comfortable with that anymore. i kind of figured it would just taper off, because let's be honest, i'm not in atlanta THAT much anymore and he's rarely up in dc. but of course, because this is my life, i received an email from him a few days back stating that he'll be in MD in june and would like to see me. he then said that he wasn't sure if it was possible and he'd have to see if he could "sneak out".  i wrote back that i would love to see him but questioned why he had to sneak out and if we would have to be friends "on the down low" for the rest of eternity. he hasn't responded yet. i'm not surprised.

the thing is, the ex is a good man. he's not a cheater, a bad person, or a sneaky guy. that's part of why his behavior is so troublesome. i don't like it and i think its indicative of some deep rooted trust issues in his relationship. of course, his current behavior makes that not a shocking observation. 

the one where i was thinking of you

i can't articulate the words, but luckily doria roberts has done it for me:

sitting looking through pictures

i come across your face

just one look and i'm reeling

got my thoughts all over the place

i'm gathering the courage

now i'm dialing your phone

thank god there's no answer

thank god you're not home

what would i say?

what would you do?

if i had said, well i was thinking of you

so i'm left with the questions

of what had become of our love

did it wither and dry like the dust in the wind in the summertime?

or is it a legend like the stars up above?

but now i have to pinch myself

bring it back to reality

you're no longer in my picture

you no longer belong to me

thinking of you...

the one about the biggest loser

okay, so i love the biggest loser. a lot. i'm kind of obsessed with it and it's definitely one of my favorite shows. and although a LOT of my friends make fun of me and my obsession, i truly believe it's a quality show. this is why:

• it's a reality show about something positive. don't get me wrong, i love trashy "reality" shows like the hills, the real housewives series, etc. but it's nice to settle in every tuesday night with a show that's about something we can all relate to: losing weight.
• bob and jillian are awesome. i have been doing the new biggest loser bootcamp video and that shit is tough. bob kicks ass. jillian isn't on the video, but watch the show. she kicks ass too.
• the show freaking saves lives. i am often brought to tears seeing the transformations that take place on the show. it's incredible and such a good reminder of what some good ole fashioned hard work can do. everyone wants a quick fix for losing weight, but there is none. surgery doesn't always work. extreme diets can't last. but working out and eating healthfully works. and this show proves that time and time again. 

love it!