the one.

carrie bradshaw said it best when she asked, "when will waiting for the one be done?" it's an interesting concept. is there just "one" __________ (fill in the blank) for each of us? one perfect job, one perfect house, one perfect city, one perfect man? what if you think you've lost that one perfect ____________? then what? are you resigned to spend the rest of your life looking back and wondering what could've been? or do you draw up a new plan, adapt and move on?

i've asked myself that question a lot lately. i am trying to be more open to the idea that maybe what i think is the one, is...not. i think that as you get older you have such expectations for your life and it can be shocking when you take a step back and see that what you thought your life would be is not quite the case. and not even in a negative light. for example, i certainly never imagined i'd be going back to school for another degree at the age of 26. i didn't imagine living in dc and although i don't think i thought much about relationships (i just assumed i'd still be with the Ex i think), i know that i didn't anticipate not being in one.

so what do i now think about the concept of "the one?" i don't know. all i know is that i'm still figuring it all out and i think that's the beauty of it all. for once, i accept the fact that i have no idea what's going to happen in a year, in two years, or even in two months, really. and i'm okay with that...at least i'm trying to be :)

2 comments:

carrie lea said...

I think I'm in a similar place as you right now. I'm searching for perfect, because I'm too stubborn to settle. But how miuch longer do I have to search? I'm still unemployed, and it really sucks, but I'm not going to work at the mall or starbucks just because they are hiring. I have a bachelor's degree! Doesn't that count for anything? Arrggg...

Anyway done venting. I checked out the program you are entering at American. Congrats! I have actually been looking into American for law school. My boyfriend is mpving out to DC in a few weeks. I am a little reluctant to move with him, but I have worked up the courage to take my LSAT this December and then I will begin applying to schools out in DC so I can be near him. Is American where you got your JD? We should chat sometime, if your willing to help out a future law student!! Hit me up, I need a mentor. carrielea123@gmail.com

The Big Manatee said...

Looks like you and I are in the same place in our lives, too. I think its a good parallel because often times when people think of the one, they think of that one significant other, and not the one job, the one city, the one house. I think I'm still trying to come to grips with not knowing a direction to move towards. I've never had a problem not knowing where along the road I'd be as long as I'm heading somewhere. Now that I'm lost, taking a step back sounds like a good idea, because even though I may not have thought I'd be where I am today, where I am is not that bad of a place.