the one about what i want/need

i think that a lot of people are sort of vague about what they want, or more importantly, what they need in relationships. i know that i've been guilty of that in the past. but the wonderful thing is that with each passing relationship, i've become more and more clear about who i am, what i want and what i need. so at this point, i have a pretty good idea.

what i need:
  • a man who has a college education. call it snobby, call it judgmental, call it what you want. i've dated a man who did not go to college and there were problems. the fact that he didn't go to college didn't really bother me, but he was always throwing my education back in my face. like in a fight, he'd say things like "well, i didn't go to [insert name of my college/law school] and so i must be an idiot." dealing with his inferiority complex got old REAL quick
  • a man with an opinion. if you know me, you know i am quite opinionated. i like trading ideas and hearing what others think. if a man's standard response to questions is "i don't know", then it ain't gonna work.
  • a man who is confident. i have a strong personality and i need someone who is not afraid to call me out on my shit. i am aware that this is what i need. if i intimidate you, then it won't ever work. if you aren't confident, then i will run all over your ass. it sounds terrible, but, hey, at least i acknowledge it :)
  • a considerate man. of course, like most outgoing people, i still have insecurities and want to be appreciated. i can't handle rudeness. i got over dating "bad boys" in high school.
  • a man who likes dogs. or at the very least likes my dog. sasha fierce is a huge part of my life and if you can't get down with that, it won't work. sasha fierce is awesome and if you don't appreciate that, we won't get along.
  • a man who has his life together. shit doesn't have to be perfect, but i'm not interested in hanging around while you "find yourself".
  • i need a man who loves food as much as i do. need i say more?
  • my friends are a big part of my life and i want my man to love that and to love my friends.
  • that being said, i want to know your friends, too. i want to be a part of your life if we are going to be together.
  • i need someone who is willing to make time for me. i require attention. i am going to want to talk to you everyday if we are in a relationship. i'm going to want to hang out with you a couple times a week if we're in a relationship. if we never see each other and we never talk, then why am i dating you exclusively? i don't think i'm crazy about this and am usually pretty laid back about it. suffice to say that if consistently text me on thursdays asking to kick it at 10pm on a friday night, we won't work out. does that make sense?
anyway, that's the basics. obviously, a lot of things go into compatibility -- these are just a few things that are important to me.


The Socialite said...

Scanning your blog and catching up on your life: moved (yay), new llm program (congrats), new datign rules (intriguing)...still reading! ttys!