the one about what i'm looking for

in the words of carrie bradshaw...

i'm looking for love. real love. ridiculous, inconvenient, consuming, can't live without each other love.

and good sex. lots of good sex. :) (okay, that was me, not carrie b. - but i'm sure she'd agree!)

the one about giving thanks

in honor of thanksgiving, i'd like to take some time and share a few of the things that i am thankful for. i know that i am truly blessed and sometimes its difficult to remember all of the blessings that have i've been lucky enough to receive so sometimes making a list helps.

• i am thankful for a roof (actually multiple roofs) over my head and that i never have to wonder where my next meal will come from
• i am thankful for family who continuously love and support me
• i am thankful for friends who inspire me and are always a comfort
• i am thankful for the sweetest little puppy dog in the world
• i am thankful for education which has allowed me pursue my dreams
• i am thankful for my health
• i am thankful to live in the united states. though i am sometimes unhappy with certain things that happen in this country, i recognize that just being born in the u.s. is a blessing and i am thankful for it
• i am thankful for our military -- i am awed by the decisions and risks our service members take and i am grateful
• i am thankful for dvr. seriously, i love it.
• i am thankful all the men i have loved and the men that have loved me. i've learned a lot about myself through those relationships and i wouldn't take back any of it
• i am thankful for my 15 year old self keeping a journal so i can look back and reflect on how crazy i was!
• i am thankful for hope and the promise of new adventures.

what are you thankful for during the holiday season?

the one about what i miss

i miss the things that are a given when you are in a relationship. sleepovers, lazy afternoons on the couch watching football, movie nights and making dinner together. i miss the fun routine of knowing that every tuesday you both go out with your friends then meet back up at home. i miss going out together with your collective group of friends and then gossiping about them on the drive home. i miss that wonderfully safe feeling when you are lying in someone's arms and you know that neither one of you would rather be anywhere else.

i had a fantastic weekend and i'm thankful for my friends and my family. but i still miss the aforementioned things :)

the one about speed dating

oh yeah, you read that right...speed dating. i decided to go ahead and just do it. i figured it'd be fun and worse case scenario, i'd get no dates, but some funny stories. here's hoping i get both...

it basically worked just like on SATC except that the men didn't visibly recoil when i said that i was a lawyer (i admit, i was kind of nervous about it). they had all the women sit behind little tables and then the men rotated every four minutes. i had a blast. there were a few cute guys, one guy who had to be at least 65 and his name was elvin (i thought of elvin on the cosby show) and one guy who was super super creepy. creepy guy was trying to invite me to a party next weekend, told me i was exquisite and then promptly asked why i was not married. i did not feel the need to ask him the same question because it was readily apparent. he then started talking about how black women aren't married because they focus too much on the kingdom and not enough on the king. i then gave him my crazy face. he quickly recanted and tried to pass it off as a joke. i still don't know what the fuck he was talking about. thank god four minutes goes quickly.

i'm hoping i get matched with one of the cuties that were there...i'll keep everyone posted :)

the one where i'm wondering...

is it wrong that i sometimes listen to pachebel's canon in d multiple times on repeat? because i do. :)

the one about time and space

it is approaching october which means many different things for me. it means my birthday (yay!), fall, halloween and this year it means a year since the Banker and i broke up. and it's been an eventful year. in terms of the Banker and i, there have been many ups and downs. i struggled to maintain a friendship with him and then cut him off when i realized that maintaining a friendship with him didn't seem possible. and now, of course, he's back. not completely back, but he has contacted me and expressed in an interest in rebuilding our friendship.

at first i was taken aback by his message. i have so many conflicting emotions regarding the Banker. i truly fell in love with him and i was pretty upset after it didn't work out. i was more upset when i felt like i had been lied to after we broke up. i felt that his behavior after our break up was reprehensible. honestly, my feelings were hurt. and i felt (and still feel) that if we were going to be friends, he'd have to truly make amends and acknowledge (at a minimum) what he did was wrong.

so i don't know what's going to happen. obviously, a good deal of time has passed and we now have this physical buffer between us. i just don't want to get sucked back in and then feel like an idiot for giving him a chance to be involved in my life again. i know that some of my friends (i'm looking at you, AHS) don't understand why i even care or why i'm even giving the Banker the time of day. and to them all i can say is that i love hard. and i give second (and third and fourth) chances. but i do learn from them. i'm not saying i'm going to go hop on a plane and visit the Banker. but the things about him that i loved are still there and if we can find a way to navigate through our past and the hurt feelings and the confusion and develop a friendship, i think i'd really enjoy that.

the one about my love for school

if you know anything about me you know that i have an incredible amount of love for the previous two educational institutions i attended. i will forever love and support agnes scott and i will always treasure my time at uva law. when i began my ll.m. at au washington college of law i told myself that i wasn't going to let this new school creep into my heart and pocketbook. i already in very involved with my two alma maters and really don't have the time or energy to love another educational institution. and i still maintain that stance. i am not involved in the wcl community like i was involved during either law school or college. however, i am really starting to appreciate the level of professor involvement and interest at wcl. to begin with, every class i'm taking has 15 or less students in it. now, i took small classes at uva also. i think the difference is that now i'm so much more focused on my schoolwork that i'm truly taking an interest in the material and i think my professors appreciate it. i've had such wonderful experiences thus far, and it's only been a few weeks.

i have to say, wcl, you may not ever be my beloved agnes or uva law...but you are earning my respect.