the one about the anatomy of a breakup

there is this line in a pink song where she wonders: "how did we get so mean? how do we just move on?" i was listening to it this evening and i started wondering the same things. how do you go from thinking you could marry someone to refusing to take their phone calls? is it as simple as saying that they simply were not the "one"? or is it deeper than that? is it that they somehow betrayed your trust or let you down just too many times? and even so, why do thing sometimes get so ugly? 


i used to pride myself on the fact that i stayed friendly with people that i dated. i figured there was something about them that i like initially and even if things didn't work romantically, there was no reason we couldn't maintain a friendship.  however, i've recently begun to change my philosophy on that. after the loser and i broke up, i had NO desire to see him, talk to him, or even here how he was doing. to be painfully honest, i was just pleased to be done with him. and though it took a little longer, i now feel the same about the Banker. 

how did i get to that point? am i getting cynical and bitter as i get older? or, am i getting smarter by putting distance between myself and the men i've dated? who can say what the best method of dealing with a breakup is? 

4 comments:

The Big Manatee said...

I think you're just getting bitter.

Just kidding. I think that it depends on how things end, and how long you were together, lots of variables that don't let you handle a situation the same way consistently. Just because the last 2 breakups have left you feeling this way, its just as likely the next one won't. Plus I think its personal, whether or not you have the energy to move past things and fall back to just a friendship. So maybe the variables aren't just based on the relationship, but also you and where you are.

hiphopactivist said...

maturity and distance.

The Socialite said...

Reading the Steve Harvey book...he addresses the way we even allow ourselves to feel guilty/bad/"ave second thoughts" about things like this. Cop that book! lol

Anonymous said...

I was hoping you would have the magical answer cause your girl is messing up here in the Magic-al City. I feel like Michael Corleone in The Godfather..."Everytime I am almost out, they pull me back in". All I know is remember to treat people how you want to be treated cause that Karma is a MOTHER!
~MJ