the one about gay marriage

most of you have probably heard about carrie prejean, the miss california who did not win miss america in part because she came out against same-sex marriage. i've managed to mostly stay above the fray, but today i came across a new ad that the national organization for marriage is airing, and i felt the need to comment.  

i've never understood why people are so strongly opposed to gay marriage. i respect and understand folks religious reasons (i am a follower myself) but think it's very interesting and convenient to cherry pick portions of the bible to follow strictly. my feelings have always been that god doesn't rank sin, so why do we spend so much time focusing on gay marriage, when lying is a sin, not listening to your parents is a sin, etc. so in an effort to understand more, i poked around on the nat'l org. for marriage's website for some background about why they are so opposed.

i came across some talking points that the site advises its supporters to use. however, i found very little substance. for example, when asked "what about benefits?" those against same-sex marriage are supposed to declare that: "it's not about benefits." well, that's all nice and good...except it IS largely about benefits. as we all know, there are significant tax benefits for married couples, not to mention issues of health care, hospital visitations, etc. it is ridiculous to just dismiss those issues. when asked "what the harm" is, those against same-sex marriage are supposed to say that the "harm lies in taxpayers being unable to define marriage as between a man and a woman." um, okay. so again, where's the harm? 

i find it so frustrating that we can continue to legally stop same-sex couples from marrying. even if you don't agree with a gay lifestyle (which is a whole other issue, bc honestly, who gives a fuck if you agree or not? i don't care if people agree with my personal choices in regards to my sex life), again, i have to ask what is the harm in allowing two consenting adults to marry? i have yet to hear any cognizant arguments that have any substance articulating why same-sex marriage should be illegal. *

i am particularly troubled bc research shows that african-americans disagree with same-sex marriage at a significantly higher rate than whites. i fail to understand the distinctions between loving v. virginia (the case that declared interracial marriage constitutional some 50 [yes, you are reading that correctly, just 50] odd years ago) and the fight against gay marriage now. 

i guess my bottom line is - why do YOU personally care whether a gay couple can go to a courthouse and leave with a marriage license?

*outside of religious arguments, which have no place in a discussion about legality, since we have a legal separation of church and state. and to those who want to cite bible verses condemning same-sex marriage, please don't. i have read the verses. i understand what the bible says. but i still have trouble reconciling my christanity with a proscription against two consenting adults marrying. i'm working on ironing that all out. :)

4 comments:

Unbreakable said...

My problem with gay is that whenever people go against them it’s a big problem, this young lady simple state her opinion in the same sentence she said no offence to the gay population.

Then we all se how that guy acted, which I don’t think was necessary, why do gay people want to programmed straight people not every one will share their views. Why can’t they accept that? The majority of the population is not gay, so why should the law of the land change to suit the minority?

Courtney @ Eat Pray Run DC said...

wow. just take out "gay" and insert black in its place...and then tell me you still don't get it??

Anonymous said...

i totally agree with you courtney. Two weeks ago I sat in on a discussion about 'isms at the bar, and much of the discussion was about homophobia. The conversation made me think about how discrimination and oppression intersect in American identity politics on several levels and when I was listening to gay/lesbian/transgender people talk about the "double consciousness" of being gay in a straight world, "passing" on their resumes and in the work place, and defending the idea of same sex couples to judges and other attorneys, I couldn't help but recognize the similarities between the current struggle of the LGBT community and the historical struggle of Blacks in America in breaking free from white supremacy.

In regard to the poster above, Carrie Prejean stated that people in America have a choice to support same sex marriage or "opposite marriage", and people were shocked because clearly the issue is that gay people have no choice.

My last issue is how simple (black) christians can be regarding their social conservatism. The republicans in 2000 and 2004 used a small minority of gay people across america as the whipping boys to rally social conservatives up to the polls and vote republican all the way down the ballot. In every state where there was a constitutional provision on the ballot Bush gained a larger percentage of the black vote than the national average and a larger percentage than the previous election cycle.

No ONE CARES what "the bible" says on abortion, gay rights, or evolution! It's all culturally relative. Go sit down somewhere and fight your inner demons.

Anonymous said...

Court, you are really stirring the pot with this one[enter 3 dots here]
;-)

So much to say...
I understand drawing parallels between the struggle for sexual freedom and the struugle for freedom for Black Americans: however, I caution against allowing the parallels to become homogenous. Acting on homosexual desires is a choice, being Black is not. Please note: I did not say people choose to be LBGT. I said "ACTING" on those desires is a choice. Most Black Americans cannot "pass" for anything other than Black so there is not an option for a "double life" or pretending to be something we are not. Good or bad, day and night most Black Americans have to confront the issue of race because of skin color, its not a hat we can put on and take off depending on who is around. I am starting to ramble but I think Ive made my point.
Moving on to the actual topic of gay marriage. My faith says no to alot of things: lying, stealing, fornication, adultery, jealousy, lust, gossiping, etc; however, the Church (even my church) has a tendency to downplay these sins while persecuting the LBGT for wanting to take part in the institution of marriage. I do not understand this AT ALL. I have to admit I am not comfortable with idea of gay marriage because of my faith; however, the church is not in the business of handing out marriage licenses. These licenses are 'sold' by our government (That should be another topic. Why isnt the church up in arms about our government SELLING the institution of marriage...hmmm?) and should be open to anyone willing to pay the fee. Just my thoughts. I appreciate this topic Court *ahem* Sasha Fierce
-MJ