the one where i am bitching

yep, i'm feeling pretty bitchy, so if i were you (especially you Banker and AHS) i'd skip this one. i'm just so irritated and fed up. really it's about 97% the Banker and about 3% AHS. so maybe AHS can read this. but the Banker shoud really skip it.

the Banker is such an annoyance. i'm thinking of cutting him out of my life completely. i probably should've done it awhile ago, but i have a hard time doing that. once i decided to stop ignoring him and actually keep in contact he started acting like an ass again. i think he's out. he's such a selfish idiot. he actually had the nerve to get mad at me because i didn't want to talk to him about some personal topics (i.e. the details of my being laid off and also if i'm dating). that infuriated me! it's like he thinks i owe him something. in this case, information. ugh. what an ass. what really gets me going is that today he sent me some annoying, juvenile text about how i'm ignoring him again. he doesn't seem to make the connection between me ignoring him and him being an ass. 

as for AHS, i'm just a little perplexed by him. when i was home over christmas we talked frequently and hung out often and it was great. then i went back to bama and it was like i had ran over his dog. i swear, he all of a sudden never calls and apparently refuses to respond to emails. i don't get it. i know he's back in school now, but i also know that means that he has plenty of time in class to slack off (ah hem, not that i ever did that, i'm just sayin...). also, i know he has some ridiculous cell phone issues...but GOOD GRIEF!! 

okay, i'm done w/the bitching for now. tomorrow morning is my first day pro bono-ing at the washington lawyers committee for civil rights and urban affairs and i am thrilled to be able to do some awesome pro bono work. yay!

the one about friends

today AHS said to me, "it was so sad to read your story about the Banker". honestly, i thought that was just the sweetest thing anyone could say about that whole situation. it made me think about all the wonderful people in my life. i'm happy that AHS is one of them. he's pretty awesome and gives me some great material to write about to boot :)

speaking of friends, i am headed to atlanta this weekend to celebrate a friend's birthday. it's going to be a little nuts, i'm predicting. a lot of ASC girls will be there including Agnes and Namesake (another fabulous college friend who happens to have the funniest dog in the world) who i have not seen since her fabulous trip around the world. so i'm really really excited. ha, we've had some good times. awhile back, we all went out and had a makeout contest. it was truly ridiculous. and even though Namesake tried to cheat and kiss a guy she KNEW i couldn't kiss (it was a friend who i adored, but i knew he had a crush on me so there was no way i could kiss him) i still won our little contest, i don't care what she says :)

in other news, i was reading this article about how ann coulter is talking trash about michelle obama in her new book (see http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2009/01/03/ann-coulter-slams-michell_n_154947.html) and i swear, no matter your politics, doesn't that woman just SCREAM desperation?! she spews this liberal-hating venim which is so obviously an attempt to shock people into buying her books...and the sad thing is that it works. ugh, she truly disgusts me. she's just so full of shit. if she really felt the way she says she does, i doubt if she would've been able to date democrats in the past, as she has. i mean, i know plenty of people who date  people who's political beliefs don't match up with theirs, but this woman is constantly calling liberals/democrats/normal people idiots...and that's on one of her nice days.

oh! my favorite show is back! http://www.nbc.com/The_Biggest_Loser/ i freaking love this show! it's the best, feel good reality show out there. seriously, sometimes it brings tears to my eyes. this show saves peoples lives and i think that is an amazing thing. its so freaking inspiring. if you missed it, check it out next week!

the one about internet dating

so i'm curious. does anyone know anyone (personally, not one of those fairy tales, my friend's cousin's sister's brother's aunt stories) who has successfully used internet dating to meet someone? i see all these commercials and i guess it might work, but i don't personally know anyone (at least i don't think i do) who's used it to any success. i have some friends who've played around with it before, but lost interest i think. just curious.

in other news, i'm a little mad at AHS. okay not mad per se, but not happy. i called him on sunday to chat and never heard back from him. he sent me some message on FB like "saw you called, did you get some rest?" but never called me back. and then i called him today also and nothing! lame! he can't be my tour guide/new male BFF is he doesn't return calls. whatev. 

i'm stepping up the job search and am hopeful that i can find something soon. i'd like to be in dc permanently by the end of the month and i'd prefer to be in my own place, rather than the Parents.

i was watching The Bachelor this evening and it was ridiculous. then i watched The City (don't judge, i was bored) and was just appalled. all these women who are obsessed with finding a man. i just don't think men are constantly thinking about women the way we constantly think of them. i think for me the solution to avoiding this is to have a very full life when i move back to dc. LS BFF and i can finally work out together again! and i'm also onboard with a law school friend's plan to be more social. if AHS would get his act right, he and i could hang out some too :) i just like doing things and being out and being social. sitting at home all day exhausts me. although i enjoy a good round of crap reality television, obviously. 

so, back to my original question  - seriously, want do we think of internet dating? seems slightly sketchy but probably no more sketchy than meeting someone in a bar, right?

the one where i harassed AHS and made him go out

AHS and i hung out last night. although i must say, i had to practically strong arm him into getting out of ths house. he was griping about $ and such, and i asked if he was frugal or cheap and he said both...and broke. ah, the student life.  :) or the life of an unemployed attorney, i suppose. so once i finally convinced AHS to leave the house we had a really nice night. we ate dinner at Pizzeria Unos and then saw Seven Pounds. i must say, i was a little surprised when AHS (mr. broke/cheap/frugal) paid for both the movie tickets and dinner. i did buy the popcorn and soda (coke zero) of course. i think he paid solely so he could make fun of me at dinner. apparently he doesn't watch sex and the city and has no interest in hearing about all my favorite episodes, regardless of how applicable they are to my life and probably to his life, too. whatev. and maybe i talk about the Dog every five minutes. doesn't every puppy (or kitty, Agnes!) parent? anyway, who knew AHS was such a softie? he confessed that if he had been alone in the theater, he would've cried a few times. of course, i did shed a tear or two but nothing like i was expecting. 

i have a lot more to say, but am so freaking exhausted. as part of my christmas resolutions, i've been running...and it is wearing my ass out. so that's it for now...more to come soon.

the one about 808s and heartbreak

i must say, i really really like kanye's new album. i'm a lyrics girl and i think this album has some good ones.

"you think your shit don't stink, but you're mrs. P.U." - see you in my nightmares.

this is classic. i love it. i know outkast said it first, but i just love it. how many people do we all know who from their descriptions are just perfect, but in fact, they are the most f-ed up?! love it, love it, love it.

"you worried about the wrong things" - paranoid.

so true.half the stuff i find myself freaking out about is really in the grand scheme of things not that important. i mean, really, is it necessary that i freak out because my mother still treats me like i'm 15? probably not. i am constantly worried about the wrong things. i wonder if i do this in relationships as well? of course not...i'm perfect :)

"i told her there's some things she don't need to know. she never let it go..." - robocop.

"shorty kind of crazy, but it turns me on." - robocop.

"you spoiled little LA girl" - robocop.

so, the three above lyrics i love. first there's the whole theme of the crazy, psycho girlfriend who is constantly checking up on her boyfriend. but i tell you what. i am probably one of the most trusting people ever. i generally take people for their words and believe what they tell me. at least i did until i got entangled with the Banker. okay. so this is a story i'd only previously shared with Agnes, but i'll put a little bit of it out there. i guess the Banker and i had been seeing each other for about three months. we had gotten in some stupid fight and i felt really bad. so it was about 12am i believe. and in the course of our fight, he had said he was going to bed, etc etc. i tried to call him around 12am and had no response. i decided i would go and leave him a note/see if he was awake. [note: i do realize that it is NOT okay to go over to someone's home unannounced and i never do that, but i felt pretty awful. besides if his lights were off, i was just going to leave a note.] so anyway, i pull down his street and what do i see? of course, it's pretty obvious from my set up. there was some strange car in his driveway. at 12am. after he told me he was going to bed about 10pm. so, i called him, and he didn't answer of course. i left him a tearful message saying how i had felt bad and wanted to apologize but (cue sad dramatic voice) someone else was already there. i felt awful. i drove home and somehow managed to fall asleep. the next morning, i was taking the world's longest shower and he had called about 15 times and left me multiple messages saying that it wasn't what it looked like, it wasn't what i thought, etc. blah blah blah. i answered the next time he called and he proceeded to tell me some ridiculous but maybe plausible explanation. and at that point, i realized i had a choice. i could accept his explanation or i could stop seeing him. for various reasons (i'm a little daft at times, the "exercise" was quite good, i really did like him and enjoy his company, etc etc) i chose to accept his explanation and move on. except  that after that night, i never ever really trusted the Banker. when he would tell me things i often didn't believe him. and so, it didn't surprise me when one day a couple of weeks after the incident, i was at his house and when he left to go get some food and left his email open, i took a more than cursory glance at the screen. i couldn't believe i was doing it, but i couldn't stop myself. and of course i saw something i shouldn't have. you always do when you go searching for shit. but that's the thing about snooping. you can't credibly confront someone with information you are not supposed to have and expect it to ever go in your favor. so you just become more distant, less connected and you withdraw further and further. in the end, of course, the Banker and i didn't work out for numerous reasons. but my point is that i can understand what the robocop girlfriend kanye is describing is going through. she never set out to be that way. but i bet she saw something or he did something and it inevitably got back to her and she just couldn't help herself. i'm not defending my behavior, all i'm saying is it takes two to create that kind of situation. 

so kanye, while i feel your lyrics, i'm willing to bet that "robocop" is a wee bit skewed...that's all :)

in other unrelated news, i decided today that AHS needs to introduce me to some people in MD/DC. since he lives here, i feel like it's a pretty good plan. unfortunately he didn't seem as psyched as i was. well, let me rephrase, he didn't seem as optimistic as i am. but, honestly, who is? i mean, he's in school, he knows people. he has a brother that lives here, his brother knows people. come on, AHS! i'm just asking you to find people to help entertain me. is that really too much? :) i certainly think not!